where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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