would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize