I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
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