You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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