My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
