No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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