she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
So many bounce houses so little time
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Randomize
