a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I wear drunk well.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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