I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
