i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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