I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
All the doctor said was why
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
