i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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