My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
