you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Randomize
