I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
