I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
