I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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