You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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