i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize