We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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