Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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