Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
