i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
