I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
