Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
