also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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