R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
