ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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