it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
