My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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