You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
