Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
