with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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