Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
