Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
FUCK WHALES
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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