Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
