So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize