apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
