well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
