the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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