Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize