I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
