I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
