worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
