Are we in a gay sports bar?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
