you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I think my nap took me to another dimension
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
