I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
