Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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