I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
