Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
