I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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