i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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