i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Randomize
