I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
