Its about making memories worth repressing
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
