smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
