So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
And then my night got REAL pukey
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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