MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize