she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
tell me about the eggs
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
