You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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