well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
