Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
